I Want To Talk To You
by Eienias20
Summary: A sacrifice for the good of everyone left the Queenslayer conflicted with a broken heart.


_11/27/19_

_I absolutely fell in love with everything Code Vein. This dern game gave me the ability to make my favorite OC in such an interesting world and I could not resist. Long time readers will recall Jaynix from my horde of XenoX fics. You can see her in the cover image for this story! That's Code Vein Jaynix!_

_Anyway, this story takes place after the "Dweller in the Dark" ending so spoilers!_

* * *

Another harsh morning found a small group of Revenants wandering the wasteland. Only one week has passed since they left the Gaol of the Mists to explore the outside world and learn of the Horrors, together the group was strong and prepared for whatever challenges lay ahead. Though they only had that one view of the Horrors from what Mido showed them, they were always ready.

At the center of the group was the Queenslayer, Jaynix. Walking with a determined gait, her eyes betraying no emotion. On her left Yakumo and Mia shared laughs and chuckles, no doubt from the man reading jokes from an old book they found not too long ago.

To her right, Louis and Murasame spoke in quiet voices, from what Jaynix could hear it sounded like another of their review of the group's supplies. They were always on top of that, as there was still much unknown about this new world.

On any other day, Jaynix would see fit to joke with Yakumo or ask about weapon maintenance with Murasame...but today she didn't want to talk to any of them. It sounded rude. Hateful. But it wasn't. She loved them dearly, they were at her side through everything, this group, this family. They supported each other. But she could not find her voice. At least not for the one topic that invaded her mind.

"Jaynix?"

Turning she noted Louis had moved to her side.

"Are you alright?"

Jaynix gave a small nod only to sigh. That wasn't right. She couldn't lie. Not to him. Not to any of them.

"No...I'm not."

Once she said that she noted Yakumo and Mia's conversation cease. All eyes were on her as Louis spoke up.

"We can make camp if that'll help."

Would it? She didn't know anymore. She felt a hand on her arm and turned to look down on Mia, always the most physically supportive of the group. The smaller woman smiled.

"You know you can talk to us, right?"

"I know. Mia...I just…"

"Is it about Io?"

Jaynix felt her heart freeze up. Louis and Mia quickly shot looks to Yakumo as Murasame smacked his arm with all the force she could muster.

"Ow! What the hell!? I-"

Yakumo locked eyes with Louis. Reading his expression he let out a long sigh.

"Sorry Jaynix. I didn't mean to...put my foot in my mouth I-"

"No. Yakumo. It's not your fault. You all shouldn't have to tiptoe around me its been...it's been a long time. I should be over it. I know I should be...I…"

Jaynix shook her head. Not sure what else she could say. One reason she didn't want to bother them with this was because it made her feel weak. She didn't like that feeling at all.

"Let's make camp."

With Louis statement the group moved off the main road.

* * *

A few hours later the four Revenants found themselves around a campfire, eating and talking about the day and what they found during it.

"I'm still not comfortable splitting up...if there were six of us I'd be more inclined but-"

"Yeah, we know Louis. Unfortunately there are just five of us. But we never stray too far. We know better."

Yakumo had brought up the idea a few days back and every so often the group splits, three in one team and two in the other. Mainly to help scavenging for supplies. As much as they took with them out of the Gaol, it was only beneficial to have more.

Mia looked to the empty spot next to her then to Jaynix not too far off swinging her massive blade back and forth. Training as she always did to stay in tip top shape. Mia knew it took her mind off everything else. Jaynix always did it more when Io was on her mind.

Standing she walked over to the taller woman and held her untouched bowl to her.

"I know we don't have to eat. But you know we miss having you with us."

Jaynix swung once more before looking to Mia.

"...I hope you don't all think I...resent you or anything...it-"

"We know, Jaynix. No need to beat yourself up. We're friends. I know I sound like a broken record but-"

"No. You don't. Thank you."

Taking the bowl from Mia, Jaynix stuck her blade into the ground and joined the group as Yakumo pulled out brandy and began offering it around.

* * *

That night, Jaynix emerged from her tent to relieve Louis of watch. Before he left he placed a hand on her shoulder. He gave her a look that said more than any words could. With a smile, Jaynix covered his hand with her own and nodded.

Once Louis entered his tent, Jaynix sat down. She waited. She waited until she was certain that he was asleep before speaking.

"I should talk to them. I should tell them...everything."

Reaching into her Veil, Jaynix pulled out the Amber Blood Bead, the last gift given to her by her faithful attendant, her shadow, her Io.

"Sometimes...a lot of times...I wish you were here Io. I wish I could speak to you. I want to talk to you...but then I remember why it is that you aren't here…"

Jaynix leaned back and looked up at the stars.

"All through our time together...I wanted you to...be more. You wanted to know what your duty was. You wanted to know why you were alive...and I wanted you to find it for yourself. To live for yourself. To make your decisions. You aren't...you never were just my attendant. You were your own person...and in the end...you found what you truly believed was the meaning of your life."

Jaynix smiled.

"Not many people ever find out what theirs is...hell...I still don't know what my purpose is...I've fulfilled my role as a Successor but I'm still here. So what's next for me? For any of us?"

Jaynix closed her eyes.

"I wish I could see you again Io. But then I feel horrible for wanting that. I feel like...saying things like that...wanting things like that...diminishes everything about your sacrifice. If you were here I'd be happy...but would you be? Still looking for your purpose? The Gaol wouldn't be at peace...the drought would've continued...every way I look at it the only good thing that would come of you being here...is me being happy, while everyone else is suffering...and that's not right."

Jaynix looked to the Amber Blood Bead, a small smile on her face. She saw in the reflection of the bead a tear run down her cheek.

"For all I know...you've heard every word and at this point, maybe I'm talking your ear off. In that case, I'm sorry. I miss you Io. I miss you and…"

Leaning forward she pressed her forehead against the blood bead, closing her eyes she could almost...see...Io before her, touching foreheads. She didn't want the illusion to break, but it was gone as quickly as it came.

"...and I love you…"

Putting the bead away she let out a long sigh and wiped her eyes. Taking a deep steadying breath she focused her attention on her surroundings. It was her watch. It was her turn to protect her family.

She may no longer be a Successor, but what powers she did have, she'd use for the protection of those dear to her and to keep Io's memory alive for as long as she could.

* * *

From inside his tent, Louis stood in silence. He wanted nothing more than to go outside and sit with Jaynix. But he couldn't justify it. Not yet. The day will come when she brings this all to him, to them. He knows it. She's one of the strongest people he's ever met.

"Good night, Jaynix."

Lying down he closed his eyes.

"Good night, Louis."

And smiled.


End file.
